Bronx, N.Y., April 1, 2013 — It will come as no shock that an opening day that started near 60 degrees and got colder and wetter, and that ended in an 8-2 loss, is not one I’m eager to share. It was a mixed day throughout. Yankee Stadium was beautiful, but crossing to the stadium from the train, we saw that brown grass remnants dominated the ballfields that populate the location of the sacred field that once was home to the Cathedral. Shivering for months through relentless temps in the 20s, 30s, and 40s, I somehow showed up in the Bronx expecting the grass there to be late-spring, early-summer verdant.

And although held on a well-prepped field, the festivities got off to a bumpy start as well. With speakers on the terrace and grandstand levels malfunctioning through the early going, we knew the visitors were being inroduced only because they were assembling, one by one, along the third base line. The aural problems continued as the good guys were introduced in numerical order, until when suddenly, following David Phelps, wearing 41, trotted to the field, the speakers suddenly self-healed in time for us to hear “…No. 42, Mariano Rivera.” What fun. And more, “Sweet” Lou Piniella threw out the ceremonial first pitch. But the fun largely ended there.

I won’t describe the “action.” The Sox made the most of very little to score four runs off CC Sabathia in the second once Jonny Gomes’s liner caromed off Jayson Nix’s glove at third; the visitors scored their first run on the first of three times shortstop Jose Iglesias hit the ball either too softly or into the just right spot where he could make first by the time an infielder got the ball there. Incongruously, he collected the first three of four infield hits by the Sox. Then with an 0-2 count on rookie Jackie Bradley, Jr., home plate ump Ted Barrett seemed to squeeze, not the rook, but CC, until Bradley walked, and Shane Victorino and Dustin Pedroia pounced on the hanging fruit with back-to-back hits for the four tallies.

The Yankee chance in the fourth, on the other hand, underachieved, even if it did bloat the Jon Lester pitch count to get him out of the game. What could have been back-to-back leadoff doubles from Kevin Youkilis and Vernon Wells morphed to a Wells walk and two on once third base ump Bellino called Vernon’s double down the line foul. Ben Francisco’s ensuing foul out was disappointing, but Ichiro singled to fill the bases. Barrett went the other way when Lester floated his seventh pitch to Nix around the outside corner, expanding the zone and punching Nix out, and the Yankee chance wobbled.

But then, with a 1-2 count on Francisco Cervelli, we had one of those moments, when suddenly a dollar bill (yes, we are entirerly too cheap up there, I know) floated from the upper climes and fluttered downward as Lester and Jarrod Saltalamacchia conferred. Back to business, the Boston lefty delivered, and Cisco singled for two runs down the third base line. A rallying shot bought and paid for. Brett Gardner’s hard liner to right, rather than ending the frame, could have tied the game, but the inning ended, as do my attempts to describe what could have been, right now.

CC was good outside of the second, as was Lester when he wasn’t throwing the fourth, although Sabathia did have to put up with what’s becoming Joe Girardi’s annual opening day insanity, when he had CC unnecessarily walk Jonny Gomes intentionally in the fifth. But the Boston pen was good, and the Yankee pen was not, and the day got worse and worse, including a punishingly ugly three-run Sox rally in the ninth.

I hate losing any of them, and an opener even more. But slipping in the Mo call and the dollar-bill two runs? Baseball gods, toying with me? Or,

April Fools!?

YANKEE BASEBALL!!!